• Be More Positive,  Be More Resilient,  Better Stress Management

    Will You Be Shaped or Broken?

    “You can be shaped, or you can be broken. There is not much in between. Try to learn. Be coachable. Try to learn from everybody, especially those who fail.” David Foster Wallace, Infinite Jest. I love this quote. We all experience bad stuff in our lives, whether bad experiences that are our own doing, or bad experiences that are someone else’s fault. Bad things just happen, sometimes – flukes, illness, death. Bad things are part of life. The sooner we accept that, the better. We need to drop the thought that “It’s not fair”. Life isn’t fair. It was never meant to be fair. No one ever promised you fair, did…

  • Two men talking, not happy
    Be More Positive,  Better Communication

    Our Greatest Addiction

    What is our greatest addiction? Asking this question gets you a variety of answers. Many people say coffee, or sugar, or drugs. Alcohol, TV or social media. And of course they can all be damaging addictions. But one addiction that flies under most people’s radars, and one of the most damaging for our mental health, is a having a negative perspective in life. Talking about our problems all the time. Let’s be honest, we all do it. It often seems it’s easier to focus on the negative and what is or has gone wrong, than to talk about the things that are right in our lives. Why do we do it?…

  • a journal with writing in
    Be More Grateful,  Be More Mindful,  Be More Positive

    Three Things

    We‌ ‌take‌ ‌so‌ ‌many‌ ‌things‌ ‌for‌ ‌granted‌ ‌in‌ ‌our‌ ‌lives.‌  ‌A‌ ‌good‌ ‌way‌ ‌to‌ ‌remind‌ ‌ourselves‌ ‌of‌ ‌how‌ ‌fortunate‌ ‌we‌ ‌are‌ ‌is‌ ‌to‌ ‌get‌ ‌into‌ ‌the‌ ‌habit‌ ‌of‌ ‌thinking‌ ‌about‌ ‌three‌ ‌things‌ ‌–‌ ‌just‌ ‌three‌ ‌things‌ ‌–‌ ‌that‌ ‌we‌ ‌are‌ ‌grateful‌ ‌for‌ ‌today,‌ ‌and‌ ‌are‌ ‌amazing‌ ‌and‌ ‌incredible‌ ‌in‌ ‌their‌ ‌own‌ ‌right.‌ ‌ The‌ ‌fact‌ ‌that‌ ‌we‌ ‌can‌ ‌see,‌ ‌for‌ ‌example.‌ ‌Or‌ ‌hear,‌ ‌or‌ ‌walk,‌ ‌or‌ ‌talk. The‌ ‌fact‌ ‌that‌ ‌we‌ ‌have‌ ‌teeth‌ ‌to‌ ‌eat‌ ‌food,‌ ‌a‌ ‌chair‌ ‌to‌ ‌sit‌ ‌in,‌ ‌a‌ ‌cup‌ ‌of‌ ‌coffee,‌ ‌a‌ ‌book‌ ‌to‌ ‌read,‌ ‌a‌ ‌friend,‌ ‌a‌ ‌job,‌ ‌money,‌ ‌food‌ ‌to‌ ‌eat,‌ ‌water‌ ‌to‌ ‌drink,‌ ‌a‌ ‌computer,‌ ‌a‌ ‌fridge,‌ ‌a‌ ‌fork‌ ‌to‌ ‌eat‌ ‌with.‌ ‌Electric‌ ‌light,‌ ‌heating,‌ ‌fresh‌ ‌water‌ ‌in‌ ‌our‌…

  • Be More Positive

    Drains and Radiators

    This is a concept I was introduced to many years ago.  The idea is that people generally fall into two camps: drains or radiators. DRAINS are the people who sap the energy out of you. They’re negative and self-absorbed. When you try to be upbeat or positive, they are quick to knock you back down and to discourage you. If you come up with an idea they’ll tell you it can’t be done. Can’t be changed. No point even trying.  They see clouds in every silver lining.  And they’ll leave you feeling tired – drained of energy and motivation. A drain has the power to bring everyone around them down. RADIATORS…

  • Be More Positive,  Be More Resilient

    Other People’s Problems

    Are you surrounded by people who share their problems with you? I used to be. I was always offering to help others. Even if they didn’t ask outright. If they told me their problem, they needed help, right? Someone needs information? Hold on, let me google that for you. Someone needs to unburden themselves?  Here are my ears, I’m listening. Someone needs help with thinking something through? Use my brain, don’t trouble yourself.  Someone needs to know how to do something? Let me research it and I’ll tell you. Want some free advice?   Here it is, don’t pay me, it’s a pleasure to help. In some ways, I enjoyed the role. …

  • Be More Positive,  Be More....

    Make an Emergency Box

    If you sometimes feel low and negative in mood, having an emergency box can really help lift your spirits. What is an emergency box?An emergency box is a box that contains some of your favourite things. It can be large or small, depending on what you put into it. And what you put in is entirely up to you. The contents should be items that make you happy, that will always lift your mood, and fill you with joy. Suggestions for content: Photos of family or friends, Photos of places that you love Photos from an event that you attended Choose them carefully – choose ones that make you smile the…

  • Be More Grateful,  Be More Positive

    Deathbed Wisdom

    Imagine this. You’re on your deathbed. You’re soon to take your final breath. Then someone gives you a gift.  The gift is the ability to travel back in time and give advice to the present you –  advice that could potentially be life changing.   What advice would the wise but near-to-death you, who now understands what matters and what doesn’t, give to the fully-living present you? Research by Dr Marshall Goldsmith found that when people are asked that question they come up with the following answers: Have fun. Life is shorter than you think, and always shorter than you want it to be. Don’t put off having fun. Don’t save fun…