• Be More Positive,  Be More Resilient,  Better Stress Management

    Will You Be Shaped or Broken?

    “You can be shaped, or you can be broken. There is not much in between. Try to learn. Be coachable. Try to learn from everybody, especially those who fail.” David Foster Wallace, Infinite Jest. I love this quote. We all experience bad stuff in our lives, whether bad experiences that are our own doing, or bad experiences that are someone else’s fault. Bad things just happen, sometimes – flukes, illness, death. Bad things are part of life. The sooner we accept that, the better. We need to drop the thought that “It’s not fair”. Life isn’t fair. It was never meant to be fair. No one ever promised you fair, did…

  • Be More Positive,  Be More Resilient

    Other People’s Problems

    Are you surrounded by people who share their problems with you? I used to be. I was always offering to help others. Even if they didn’t ask outright. If they told me their problem, they needed help, right? Someone needs information? Hold on, let me google that for you. Someone needs to unburden themselves?  Here are my ears, I’m listening. Someone needs help with thinking something through? Use my brain, don’t trouble yourself.  Someone needs to know how to do something? Let me research it and I’ll tell you. Want some free advice?   Here it is, don’t pay me, it’s a pleasure to help. In some ways, I enjoyed the role. …

  • Be More Motivated,  Be More Resilient

    Start A Fail Journal

    I want you to start a fail journal. “WHAT? ” I hear you say. “You want me to do what? Start a journal to document my failures? But isn’t that the opposite of what positive psychologists suggest?” you continue. Well yes. But listen. We’re often encouraged to focus on the positive, and banish the negative. Or at least, let the negative play a much diminished role in our thinking. And this makes sense. As humans, what we focus on becomes more important. People whose focus is primarily on negative events often suffer from anxiety, self doubt, low self-confidence, and are afraid to try anything new or different. They generally become “stuck”…

  • Be More Positive,  Be More Resilient

    They Make Me So Angry….

    Do you often find yourself getting angry with others – at what they say, what they do; or at what they don’t say or don’t do? You’re not alone. If you’ve been like this for a long time,  you’re probably an expert in finding things to be angry about. You’re waiting for it. Sometimes you intentionally provoke it.  And maybe sometimes the circle turns inward and you get angry at yourself for getting so angry at others.   Have I just described you?   Well, hello there. Time for a wake up call. No-one makes you angry. No one makes you feel any emotion.  You choose to get annoyed or angry or frustrated…

  • Be More Resilient

    If it Doesn’t Challenge You….

    Our comfort zones are rather wonderful places to be. We feel safe, warm, we know what to do, what to expect. But our comfort zones hold us back. In order to grow, in order to learn, in order to do better and be better, we have to get out of our comfort zones. We have to admit that we are lacking in knowledge, and have the humility to start from the bottom and be willing to make mistakes and to learn. We have to admit that we can’t do it alone, and have the confidence to ask for help. We have to admit that we will never be perfect, but have…