• Be More Mindful,  Better Communication

    Judgement Days

    We are more judgemental now than ever before. Why do we see binary – black or white – and not shades of difference? Why are we so intent on putting people into boxes and react accordingly? The main culprit is social media. We open our Facebook feed (or Twitter, Instagram, whatever social media we use). And we’re presented with a scrollable list of posts, articles, photos, polls, questions, and links. Social media is so fast that our brain has to make instant decisions. Neuroscience shows that our brains get addicted by the new and the novel, keeping us scrolling through, hooked into seeing the next, and the next. On every single…

  • Two men talking, not happy
    Be More Positive,  Better Communication

    Our Greatest Addiction

    What is our greatest addiction? Asking this question gets you a variety of answers. Many people say coffee, or sugar, or drugs. Alcohol, TV or social media. And of course they can all be damaging addictions. But one addiction that flies under most people’s radars, and one of the most damaging for our mental health, is a having a negative perspective in life. Talking about our problems all the time. Let’s be honest, we all do it. It often seems it’s easier to focus on the negative and what is or has gone wrong, than to talk about the things that are right in our lives. Why do we do it?…

  • two men sitting on a bench, talking
    Better Communication

    Three Little Words

    It seems to be getting worse: positions are becoming more entrenched and polarised. We’re either on this side or that side. We can’t be in the middle anymore. We can’t be undecided, or open to change. And with that comes arguments, disagreements, falling out. Recently I’ve heard about family members who’ve fallen out over their beliefs around covid: mask wearing, lockdowns and vaccines. Before that it was family members, friend and colleagues taking sides and falling out over Brexit. And immigration. And politics, of course. How can we stop this in our own lives? It is easy to get fixed in your opinion (because it is the right one after all…

  • Two women gossiping
    Better Communication

    If You Can’t Say Something Nice

    A very wise rabbit (yes, a rabbit: Thumper in the film Bambi) once said If you can’t say something nice, don’t say nothing at all. To be fair he wasn’t that wise because he’s just an animated cartoon rabbit and his grammar certainly wasn’t up to much, but his intent was solid. We all talk or gossip about other people. It’s human nature. But it can cause issues of which we’re often not aware. So how about setting ourselves a new, higher standard – That we won’t gossip, or repeat gossip; We won’t say anything that reduces someone else and their chance of being whatever they want to be. So you…

  • Better Communication

    Put Your Foot In It

    When we’re trying to gauge someone’s interest in our conversation, we look at their faces. Are they looking at us when we’re talking? This can be a good sign. But then some people find it difficult, so their eyes wander. They may love the conversation, but they’re just not showing that with eye contact. Are they covering a yawn or giving big sighs? That can be a sign that they’re bored, but it may just be that they’re tired, and it’s nothing to do with you or what you’re talking about. Here’s another way to find out if someone is interested in what you’re saying. Look at their feet. Feet don’t…